Don’t misjudge me.

I WAS going to make my first post about my story but I decided that something else was more pressing on my mind.

I go to the gym 6 times a week. I work hard when I’m there... well, okay, I work hard way more when I’m at a class and so I try and go to those at least 3 days a week...

But here’s the thing: I oftentimes feel people look at me and just assume that because I’m overweight, I either CAN’T do the workout or that I’m just lazy at home, eating bonbons.

Truth is: I gave birth to twin boys in April 2019 and while I initially lost weight, I gained some back being starving, trying to keep up my milk supply to exclusively breastfeed the twins, and the fact that I really couldn’t go anywhere for the first few months of their lives due to a variety of external factors.

“But doesn’t breastfeeding help you lose weight?” Never has for me.

I used to be an athlete.  My days were filled with insane workouts and crazy training swim, bike, and run sets.  I did ultramarathons, regular and half marathons, and triathlons, all distances except the full Ironman.  

Then, in August 2014, I broke my hip. Not by doing anything crazy but simply by turning around in my kitchen.... though it was decided that the hip pain I had been ignoring was a stress fracture and it finally just broke all the way through.  I lost a lot of fitness and gained some weight during this time of sedentary healing and then rehab.  

But anyway, when you look at me now, you’d never know it.  My excess pounds don’t tell my history, my struggle or my current situation.  And that sucks sometimes.  

And I’ll keep at it... but just a reminder to all - No need to judge that pudgy woman with short legs who is trying to jump to the #3 soft box...  even when she falls off it... in the most glorious of ways. 

(I doubt that everyone is thinking “look at that fatty trying to keep up in that class” but I do get some interesting looks and it’s just so frustrating to me. Maybe it’s my own insecurity. Maybe no one even gives a shit what I’m doing at the gym....)